Happiness within yourself

You may continue enjoy “glory” from the “show” you put on. But deep down, you may ask yourself if you are TRULY happy when the show is over or do you feel empty and longing for the next show. If it is former, you meet the end of the goal. 
But most likely you may be in the latter situation – and you may consider ‘restrategise’ – don’t make “others” as your tools of happiness or puppets. Stop putting on the show on how “pitiful” you are. Don’t rely others for “happiness” or “pride”. 
Everything begin in yourself. There is where your focus be. Do things that you are happy rather than obligated to. If you feel obligated, there may not be where you belong to. If you need to make people feel obligated, consider their sincerity.
You are in charge of your life. At the end of the day, the goal is to have a peace of mind while you continue to go on with life.
Disclaimer: you = me = anyone; don’t be too “sensitive” that this is about you. And this is merely my thoughts and not up to debate (because I know I am NOT perfect!)

Critics will be critics…so why bother?

While some may say ‘eat little bit never mind’; I would flip the coin and say ‘don’t eat also won’t die!’ 
Kids need to learn make their own choices? Yes, of course as they do need to – but only when they are fit to make healthy choices. Let’s say ‘some of the kids of their age already smoking’ and my kids have intention to do so – ‘so I shall agree to allow them make the choice of smoking’? (I know I make ‘ridiculous’ analogy, but it is a fact!) 
‘Ask mummy first.’ – Always sound like I am the one restricting and the one who is ‘spoiling their childhood’! But with early training ground, I do see the wise choices that Noelle (especially) is making these days! 
Yes I do prepare bento lunches for my kids when we dine out (still for Noelle who will be reaching 5 this year end) – but as if we eat out that often! 
Moreover, if ever I prepare food for them, I never trouble anyone – my ‘choice’. Some even question why I take ‘trouble’ to prepare – errr…I don’t find it troublesome at all; ‘you will spend less time with them with food preparation’ – errr…I usually do it when they are still asleep or when hubby is here to look after them (papa also need to spend time with them what)! 
‘Your kids are not smart at selecting good food!’ Again, what’s the definition of ‘smart’ and ‘good food’. I actually feel good that they are ‘not so smart’ in choosing ‘rich food’ (as in so high quality- five star food – as though we can afford it.) Some even say their ‘choices’ are limited) and they still like ‘bland’ food – as in they need the least seasoning but most flavouring are from natural ingredients. Anyway if one thinks eating healthy (or with natural ingredients) is cheap, try find out how much we spend on fruits itself in a week! 
I know their meals and health have been scrutinized every now and then – whether with good or ‘not so’ good intention. In fact, when I posted Noelle taking her first meal outside, it was such an alarm for some people – it is either ‘wa…you finally not preparing/ allowing outside meal?’.
Critics will be critics…so, why bother? 
My kids my choice; your kids your choice. 

While they may not be 100% perfect in health, they are overall healthy, happy and active kids. My objective is still to help them build a healthy self immunity system and guiding them to making healthy choices – not a foodie. Food is for survival and there are many, many more life choices that need to be guided – especially when they grow older. (I know I am repeating ๐Ÿ˜ but I am clear with my objectives – and not shifting them for my own convenience!)
**i am not a perfect mum, but trying to do my ‘best’.

Great article to read: https://www.lifecoachcode.com/2017/05/19/kid-never-eaten-sugar/

Beware of who you trustย 

I am certainly more ‘open’ to people since becoming a stay at home mum. (Those days I just trust my hubby and a best ‘guy’ friend ๐Ÿ˜ – because guys certainly have less running mouth!) 
As I know more ‘mummies’ and ‘believe’ that they were on the same kind of channels, I think began to trust people a lot more- sharing issues in life, we share jokes and ideas; inspiring one another! I certainly value all these friendship (as real) even though they were virtual relationship- because as a SAHM, I did lose touch with my working friends! 
It was until last year, I began to feel some people were ‘awkward’ towards me, in a way – I do think they are less trustworthy- by the way they speak to me and others (which could be completely different) and because of ‘differences’ in opinion. Some believe that they are superior because of how they think/feel! 

They probably know or may not be aware that I know what was happening- but yeah, I make the steps backward (and I believe there are still some that exist in my list) because these people are really scary and certainly don’t want to be associated with them! Sometimes I couldn’t believe I was naive to have ‘trusted’ some people! ๐Ÿ˜‚ But well, that’s life lessons! 
I am holding tight to the sentence that one of my bestie gave me – we already have a lot of issues in real life, why bother about other issues!
Nevertheless, I still believe that there are people who are trustworthy. I still believe that there are some people who I can call true or best friends (people who are sincere in all if not most ways)! 
Don’t let ‘some’ rotten ‘apples’ ๐ŸŽ spoil humanity! 

My sad dayย 

This week isn’t a good week for me. I have one kid falling slightly ill;she recovered in a day fortunately. Then it was second kid falling ill – took 2-3days for her to recover. But the second one is not over with her cranky and clingy moments. Plus the first one isn’t in her best behaviour (I know I shouldn’t expect so much of a kid). Next, it is my turn getting flu. With all these, I just feel so tired and down. ๐Ÿ˜”๐Ÿ˜”๐Ÿ˜”
Then it comes Mother’s Day – I don’t celebrate it (cos i feel this is so commercial just like Valentine’s Day) but the hype is everywhere. Not that I expect celebration (even my hubby jokingly utter that I am not his mother- which is very true), but it bring ill feeling on why most people have a ‘great’ mum or/and mum-in-law behind their backs (especially during their down moments) while I don’t. Don’t get me wrong, they are still alive but I don’t feel they play any role as ‘mother’ (except giving birth) and I admit that I don’t have a good relationship with them (due to our past -which I have moved forward)-that’s why I have been trying my best to do whatever I feel an actual mum should do; but I am getting tired….especially with this ‘season’. 

And with my hubby’s joke – it just pierced into my heart and mind – yah, I am not his mum but in essence, everyday I have been replacing his mum’s job! So? 

All these make me feel that I really HATE Mother’s Day! ๐Ÿ˜”๐Ÿ˜”๐Ÿ˜”๐Ÿ˜”๐Ÿ˜” I have been moody for the past few days and I just wish today pass just as it is.

If you wonder…

Sometimes in life people wonder why they were left behind for ‘no’ reason; but they have forgotten to reflect on themselves – what they have spoken/still speaking or did/still doing. 
Everything happens for a reason, just we haven’t put a deep thought or fail to accept the actual reasons (or probably resort to finger pointing). 
For this, I am glad that certain decisions are made to put some people out of my life equation.
If you feel this, then start reflecting…

Some ‘friendships’ don’t last forever

Nice read up: http://www.femalenetwork.com/relationships/when-to-end-friendships-a00002-20170502

I have been going through emotional ups and downs in the past few months (not sure if this is hormonal or what). 
As a result, I have been ‘tuning out’ people (not just friends); I don’t even answer to certain messages (though sometimes it is because I forget) – some on purpose because I feel ‘annoyed’ with them. Some go through the back ways to get to me (I feel more annoyed with this)!
I know not many will agree with what I do.

But at the end of the day – I am at peace with myself and my mind; fully focus on my role as a mama in the next few years when the kids (and hubby) need me most!
I don’t have “many” friends (companions) but whoever left are the ‘best of kind’! Amen! 
If you think you need/want me, please don’t put me at the last spot (or come by only when you need/want me)- at the first place. Enough said!

Yes I have my own standpoint

Focus on what you are doing. Just be confident with your own decisions. You yourself only know the actual reasons for the decisions made. 
Don’t have to pinpoint others (even anonymously) openly – e.g. ‘so and so’ choice let to ‘like that’ consequences – because you get no where by doing so! 

Everyone’s circumstance is different. Even if you made the exact same decision, conclusions could be different. Or different decisions could lead to similar conclusions. 
Most importantly, don’t say others are judging you when you are busy judging others in someway (intentionally or not). Eliminate the need to make comparisons. It is also about letting go your own ego, deep down. 

#selfreminder #randomthoughts