While some may say ‘eat little bit never mind’; I would flip the coin and say ‘don’t eat also won’t die!’
Kids need to learn make their own choices? Yes, of course as they do need to – but only when they are fit to make healthy choices. Let’s say ‘some of the kids of their age already smoking’ and my kids have intention to do so – ‘so I shall agree to allow them make the choice of smoking’? (I know I make ‘ridiculous’ analogy, but it is a fact!)
‘Ask mummy first.’ – Always sound like I am the one restricting and the one who is ‘spoiling their childhood’! But with early training ground, I do see the wise choices that Noelle (especially) is making these days!
Yes I do prepare bento lunches for my kids when we dine out (still for Noelle who will be reaching 5 this year end) – but as if we eat out that often!
Moreover, if ever I prepare food for them, I never trouble anyone – my ‘choice’. Some even question why I take ‘trouble’ to prepare – errr…I don’t find it troublesome at all; ‘you will spend less time with them with food preparation’ – errr…I usually do it when they are still asleep or when hubby is here to look after them (papa also need to spend time with them what)!
‘Your kids are not smart at selecting good food!’ Again, what’s the definition of ‘smart’ and ‘good food’. I actually feel good that they are ‘not so smart’ in choosing ‘rich food’ (as in so high quality- five star food – as though we can afford it.) Some even say their ‘choices’ are limited) and they still like ‘bland’ food – as in they need the least seasoning but most flavouring are from natural ingredients. Anyway if one thinks eating healthy (or with natural ingredients) is cheap, try find out how much we spend on fruits itself in a week!
I know their meals and health have been scrutinized every now and then – whether with good or ‘not so’ good intention. In fact, when I posted Noelle taking her first meal outside, it was such an alarm for some people – it is either ‘wa…you finally not preparing/ allowing outside meal?’.
Critics will be critics…so, why bother?
My kids my choice; your kids your choice.
While they may not be 100% perfect in health, they are overall healthy, happy and active kids. My objective is still to help them build a healthy self immunity system and guiding them to making healthy choices – not a foodie. Food is for survival and there are many, many more life choices that need to be guided – especially when they grow older. (I know I am repeating 😝 but I am clear with my objectives – and not shifting them for my own convenience!)
**i am not a perfect mum, but trying to do my ‘best’.
Great article to read: https://www.lifecoachcode.com/2017/05/19/kid-never-eaten-sugar/
#throwback story told by hubby
On one fine day, papa brought Noelle to buy a cake for mama! At the cake shop, papa asked Noelle if they should pick chocolate cake (since it was mama’s favourite).
Noelle: No. I can’t eat chocolate cake!
And so they chose a mango cake instead!
Nothing interesting….but I seriously didn’t expect this from her! She was given an opportunity to ‘choose’ and even was given the suggestion on something she might have alot of intention to try – but she remembers our ‘rule’ now – anything chocolatey is limited to chocolate chips (be it waffle or cupcakes or cakes).
It is a surprise to me but I think I need to learn to trust her more that she knows how to differentiate what is good and bad for herself.
Noelle and I were in ‘cold war’ since this morning – for her saying ‘yucks’ to my banana cake. Not that I cannot accept criticism but it was the feeling of unappreciated (it is a real feeling I had since young – people who seem unappreciated on food and think they are proud foodies who can be choosy while so many others are deprived on even basic food – just get me on nerves.) and she did it on purpose – she was excited when seeing the cake but ‘yucks’ out with just the mention of ‘banana cake’ – it was just the ‘flavour’ that she didn’t like. 😒
I decided to give her a ‘lesson’. I told her I ain’t cooking lunch for her (of course I did, but just set it aside where she can’t see it) and bla bla her on why she should be appreciative of food! She was ignorant initially. Then when she tried speaking to me, I ignored her! I just let her do whatever she wanted except watching YouTube. But she was happily playing by herself even through Nikki’s morning nap. At some points, she did come tell me that she was hungry but I continued to ignore her while i finished up my work.
Finally, after Nikki woke (about 1.45pm), I fed Nikki. It was then Noelle became teary and telling me she was hungry. I asked her what does she do when she hurts others’ feelings and how it feels to be in hunger. She then apologized! Thereafter, she had her lunch and we were almost ‘cool’ over it!
Video of her today <here>
I don’t think this will be remarkable enough to stop her for being unappreciative – but hopefully it will be a short reminder to her! 😒😒 ok, now let the papa ‘lecture’ her tonight!
She then took a try on the banana cake that she mentioned ‘yucky’ and then said ‘yummy’ instead – though I am not totally sure if this is sincerely yummy! 🤣
And she showed less fuss during dinner!
**yes, she is free to express her views but she needs to learn to be empathetic
Mama used to have a childhood best friend, who was her neighbour’s daughter (not sure if you gonna read this, not going to tag you here – Angelynn Koh) 🤣!
And looking at how Noelle and Jessica (now, neighbour’s daughter) little friendship flourish- it does bring back memories. It all started with an ‘exchange’ of gift – Noelle’s being sand art thingy and Jessica gave her a ‘mentos’ after that. They then have casual meet up every night (short 1-2 minutes when Jessica passes by).
Lately, Jessica gave her gummies (🙄🙄 not something ‘ideal’ that I would like Noelle to receive/ accept 😝 but as long as Noelle knows ‘it is not for eating’ – but for experimenting – she has been opening them to feel the texture – how sticky they are – which give her additional hint how that will be bad for her tooth)!
To be grateful of what she has been receiving, today I suggested to Noelle that we make a little jar of cereal with nuts for Jessica!
With this little give and take, hopefully she is learning the spirit of giving (which she takes it as ‘exchange’) – which I believe she does!
We swam before the downpour!
Self reminder: Out of busyness and tiredness, there’s need to take time off for the kids before lost opportunity!
Video of today’s swim time: <here>
I was actually kind of busy in kitchen and house chores. Noelle kept bugging me from going to playground to swimming. I told her too hot for playground and she suggested on swimming. I snapped on her! 😩😩😪😪 Feeling guilty, instead of waiting till the bed sheets are ready washed by the washing machine, I just changed them to swim suits and went down. It rained when we were almost done!
Noelle was happy that she got the chance to run in the rain ☔️! 🙄 On the bright side for me, if I have waited for the bed sheets to be done and put them out to dry at balcony, they would have been wet again. OR, we lost the chance to swim completely!
Seriously, some chores can wait; but time with the kids can’t really!
In the day, we did the cream cheese cookies again!
Here the 4y3m30d narrates on how to mold on the cookies <video>
Extracted from http://www.scarymommy.com/parent-doesnt-care-about-kids-grades/:
It is the other categories — things like friendship, teamwork, kindness, generosity — where I want them to really excel.
Since late last year, Noelle has started to exchange hellos and byes with the little girl next door (the girl and the dad wiĺl usually walk pass our unit to get to their unit). Then weeks ago, I gave Noelle an idea – to ask the name of this ‘friend’. Ever since then, in addition to ‘hellos and byes’, the conversations have extended to ‘what’s your name?’ 😂 (without fail) but when I asked Noelle – what’s her friend’s 👫 name – she couldn’t tell!😅 But her reply to her friend has changed from ‘lui lui’ to ‘Noelle’ at least! 😂 (her first reply to her friend was ‘lui lui’ which is her nick given by her papa; and that reply couldn’t stop me from laughing😂).
This week – I gave her ‘courage’ to hand some sandart thingy to her friend. Knowing Noelle (and understanding from her point of view), she was initially reluctant to give away ‘her’ stuff (actually we had a big collection and duplicates of them). She was initially showing her very sad faces when I gave her the idea – to the extent of me taking back my idea. I even assured her that we had many of them plus we could get more when we are done with it. She wanted to give but still sad. I even added that the sandart pieces were left untouched before I came with this idea and that was why it is good to givr some away (that was the point I started to get annoyed with my own suggestion😅 because of the face she was showing me). Then before the girl came by, she did a sandart by herself (that I think satisfied herself).
Upon the hello from her friend that night, she rushed out with the new sandart pieces to pass to the girl. 👧 I was in the kitchen and could hear happy 😁 voices from both of them. After the girl left to her unit, I asked Noelle ‘do you feel happy GIVING?’ which she nodded yes, and ‘did you see how happy your friend was?’, which she nodded yes. Yes, giving away something (we ‘want’ especially with limited resources, i seriously understand) is difficult – but the spirit of giving – (no matter how small the gift is) matters more.
And yes, that’s the point – I want her to be a better human who not only care to have all things by herself. I would repeatedly say – ‘this is not easy to do so’; I learn this at an older age – especially in these two to three years; from my buddies to facebook friends who have willingly offer me ‘alot’ of stuff (not just materials) despite we being strangers at one point of time!