Release the burden

The month of October 2021 has been really the month of decluttering. It is not merely decluttering things that we no longer use; but also those ‘sentimental’ stuff – like given by some people. In the past, I have been holding these stuff because I felt ‘obligated’ to keep it – but after decluttering it, I do feel the ‘lightness’ (no more burden) of not having them anymore. In short, I feel – I don’t ‘owe’ anyone anything from those gifts.

For example, grandmother leaves kitchen utensils to the children. But the children just pass it on to the kids (meaning grandchildren). Some (grandchildren) may feel it a waste to throw and continue keeping it – although it may not be used at all. At the end, there’s lack of storage place and they can’t even buy new kitchen utensils that they want to own. But at the same time, the children (especially the wealthy ones) that passed down the items to the grandchildren – continue to buy utensils that they want without this burden.

I learn that the idea of inheriting ‘materials’ to our kids (or future generation) is just a BURDEN. This is to remind myself not to keep stuff that I think the kids may like but at the end it is just a burden. Living a minimalist life before we leave the world is one of the best things to do for our children.

You are important

Law of Attraction says the universe will give you more of what you keep thinking about.

And if you keep thinking over and over about your manipulative sister, your horrid mother-in-law, your addict brother’s latest violent behaviors, and so on, guess what, the universe will give you more of that crap from where that crap came from.

It sucks high heaven but that is how it is. That is the Law of Attraction.

So the first thing you might realise you can do is change your emotional state which is to remain calm and unaffected. For some people, it’s super hard because they have been so used to this toxic up and down behaviors for such a long, long, long time.

And then for the other side of the spectrum, you have people like me who can easily switch off and remain unaffected because I never had to live in this sort of environment. Seeing people stuck in an endless loop of unhappiness was something I wasn’t able to understand because my parents gave me massive amounts of autonomy and zero guilt trips. That is literally how normal childhood should be. This is how your children’s childhood should be because you and them deserve it.

It was when I started studying childhood psychology and really begin to pay attention to people around me that I finally saw what was and what is because paying attention works.

It’s almost holiday time and this is when it gets really bad for many people because you might have to face these yucky people but you know what? The power is not having to see them. You dont have to see them. You dont have to talk to them, you dont have to layan them, you dont have to do nada, zero, elek, kosong anything. Why do you have to? Because your manipulative mother goads you into attending a family event by calling you ungrateful and mean? No. No need. She’s projecting her ungrateful and mean behaviour onto you because she is mean and ungrateful. Not grateful for the child you are to her, the gift you are to your parents.

Codependent, innocent you.

If they cant see you for the joy you are, well, just let them suck it in their own pool of misery. You are an adult, you can finally zip your mouth and avoid the toxic plague. You have the car keys to drive away. You can literally, physically go away.

Go away.

Why not?

What’s sort of sorcery that is so strong that you can not cut the soul ties out?

It’s mind over matter.

Your mind matters.

Your mind must be brave enough to matter to you to finally say, that’s it. Say with me. “I am going to avoid any toxic and only appear when there’s no toxicity”. You gotta teach these people like how you teach kids. Reward them for good stuff. Pull away when they give you crap.

You, the adult, might realise, you no longer have to do anything you dislike. And then, your children see your empowered behavior and they too will start to learn to be empowered and not be victimized by people because truly, your children deserve better.

You are the kahuna of your universe. You deserve to focus on yourself. You are your No 1 in your life. And when you start to feel that, the Law Of Attraction will treat you so. That is the law. That is the Law of Attraction.

#copyandpaste

#JasminChoy

>>You are allowed to walk away from people who constantly hurt you (consciously and even unconsciously).

Your mental health matters most; especially when you have little ones who relies on your love.

Never take away the joy of learning

Have you heard this song before?

少年 Shào Nián <https://youtube.com/shorts/-S4mqjBAaCM?feature=share&gt;

Recently, she did a mandarin test with her tutor and the result came out that she merely passed for SJKC P1 level. 🙄🙄🙄 Actually, we didn’t mind the result. And since the papa doesn’t know what to reply to the tutor, he replied ‘seems like there’s still room for improvement.’ 🙄🤣 which it isn’t ‘wrong’ in the respond.

The tutor later replied 🤣🤣🤣 (maybe he felt intimidated with his ability to teach🙄) – “Actually Noelle is considered ‘good’ for a SK P3 student.” 🤣🤣🤣

Anyway, why we don’t mind the result – because it hasn’t taken away her joy of learning. Never a day we need to remind her to do her homework, and never a day we get a complain from her teacher. Every homework is settled by herself – unless she needs help, she will ask. She has been consistent in every detail and ‘reports’ to me whatever is required. She is pretty discipline in her attitude to work. And this is what matters at this point of time. Good attitude will get her where she wish to be in the future (in our opinion).

for example, she needs to practice singing this song twice every day (which is a homework given by her tutor). Nikki instigated Noelle to sing only once – since it is taking their time to play. But Noelle insisted that she needs to sing it twice. 🤣

Lockdown and friends

This evening we went to the car park next to our condo building to cycle (we found this place on Sunday) where it has a wider space.

A boy (younger than Noelle, probably same age as Nikki or younger) and his dad were there earlier (they stay in the same condo, seen them at the condo compound especially during last year’s MCO, but never spoken). When the boy saw the girls, he was so excited. He started chasing the girls and saying ‘hello’ repeatedly. He chased Noelle on the bike, Nikki on the scooter and Norrah on the tricycle.

Initially, we ignored him. He was chasing Noelle until a point Noelle got scared. 🤣 They nearly bumped into one another on the bike; Noelle ‘screamed’ – and that’s when they started talking to one another (the boy was in mask 😷 – initially he wasn’t until his dad told him to wear as he was getting near to the girls).

We (hubby, I and the boy’s dad) actually let the ‘friendship’ develop by itself. At the end, they had a great time from riding the bicycle to running together – with his dad reminding him to maintain a distance (I was cycling, acted cool 😎 and don’t know, ok? Hubby was busy chasing Norrah.) It was really lovely to see how the little friendship developed. Then lightning ⚡️ came, and we decided to go home. They bidded goodbye to each other and the boy told Noelle ‘see you next YEAR!’ 🤣

Noelle went home, telling us she had so much fun. And she got to know that the boy is Philiks. She initially wondered why the boy was chasing her (and was pretty annoyed). It was until when the boy told her that he wanted to play with her and he has no friend – that Noelle decided to play along. Like the boy, our girls have NO physical friends for the past 6 months. It actually tells us how much kids yearn to have one another (other than own siblings) to play with.

I am actually relief that Noelle still knows how to make and accept new friends. It has been exactly 6 months since she went to school (the last recess box I made for her was April 19, 2021 – which was the last day she went to school). We know she has a lot of desire to resume physical school life. As she enters pre-teen age, she also has more need to be away from us at times (to be independent). She has her own thoughts and wants. Sometimes it gets difficult to get her open up and talk. And often she also tries to see how far she can push our limits. 🙄 It could be a more challenging time for us in months/years ahead in handling the kids cum endemic.

Early homeschool graduation

Blessing in disguise, I got to thank Mr C19 or I won’t have the opportunity to homeschool Nikki up till today.

It wasn’t ‘challenging’ but rather ‘anxious’ every moment thinking if we were heading the right direction. But time and Nikki proves that we are doing good. She probably won’t score A when she enters primary school; but she will definitely able to catch up and that is what matters. 🥰

Thank you Nikki for enduring your ‘panas baran’ mummy, who will at times use unkind words 🙄😖🥺 to you. I am very proud of you for every little milestone you have shown. Hope you will excel in everything you do.

I wanted to say ‘hope you achieve your dreams’ but I stopped myself because Nikki is always ‘dreaming’🙄🤣

Today macam graduation 👩‍🎓 day for Nikki but she still have till end Feb to ‘suffer’ with me, ok? 🤣 And we actually wanted to take a decent picture of her because her papa needs to crop a picture of her to make a passport size photo for her primary school registration. 😂😂😂

Photos: https://youtu.be/lvtXUnnSx6k

Homeschooling Nikki brought the sisters closer! And the sisters have been the pillar to Nikki.

Big sister Noelle has been a role model and always reminding Nikki to complete her daily activity sheets. Noelle also enjoys challenging Nikki with questions. Nikki has been motivated to learn because she wants to be a ‘teacher’ to Norrah.

🥰🥰🥰