I have a confession tonight.
I have hated alcohol since I am a kid because I grow up watching people ‘indulge’ in alcohol/cough syrup/medicine to sleep. However, I have became relied on it since early this year when Noelle started her primary school because of anxiety (and also because of some personal issue). In the name of healthy drink, I relied on the alcohol from water kefir (because I get drunk easily). It is not just one or two glasses of kefir that I drink on a nightly basis, but half bottle to a bottle (750ml). So I basically went to bed ‘drunk’; to find myself waking up at wee hours on some nights to visit the kitchen and get another glass of kefir as I had insomnia. One day passes another, it became weeks and then months…a total of 8 months!
In September, I decided to put a full stop on this! This coincide with our trip to Phuket and that was also when I have no access to kefir and stopped making it all together. I don’t want my kids to see me ‘drunk’ and hope to erase this 8 months of memories from them. Also, I realized that the excessive consumption of water kefir has made me put on weight (it basically made up of sugar)
As I stopped it, I manage my anxiety better. I try to be ignorant with many things and in fact people. Some may think I am so ‘unkind’ and ‘unforgiving’ by eliminating certain people from my life – but I have achieve the peace without them. It is for my own sanity. I do happy things, keep myself occupied, stay positive and I try to love myself more. And with blessings, some good things fell upon me. I am in fact less tired (especially during the day) since stop relying on this so called ‘alcohol’.
I thank myself for taking the courage to do so! I shall continue to strive to be a better person.