I was much more ambitious before becoming a mum. But ever since, I have very minimal time for other goals or even people. Or, shall I just say that my goal now is to ensuring the girls be healthy and grow up to be a happy and fully functioning people? Even if I had time, I rather laze around or find something meaningful to do (within the home compound) or indirectly doing ‘something for them’ (which makes me happy).
Then what do I want to do when they grow up? While there may be many things that I want to do for myself, the utmost important thing is to making sure I am healthy and not becoming a burden to my girls – physically, monetary and emotionally too. (The Aunty that swims at our condo pool – has kinda inspired me or should I say we have the same kind of thoughts, as tells me what her daily goals are now).
Many see that I am a good mum and probably a good wife too. Because that’s my only daily achievement – to be a better mum and wife on a daily basis.
Sadly, I would admit that I will never be a good daughter or even a daughter in law. But I told myself everyone has flaws and do not have to be perfect. I don’t want to stress myself to be any better than a good mum and wife. And that it is OK! (People are open to judge me, but this is a good read if you have the time: https://tinybuddha.com/blog/what-my-parents-did-to-me-and-why-i-cut-them-out-of-my-life/)
>> sorry for the emo post, but it is the ‘season’ again I feel down….😔😔😔