I have “sacrificed” my career for the kids, my sanity is at my kids’ hands, I don’t totally have my own time, when kids are sleeping/napping i am running around to cook or do housechores, i could only speak to my friends virtually (with some occasional visit and with presence of my kids), I try to do as much as possible to lighten my hubby’s burden.
I could simply say I have done my duty as a mama and wife.
But sorry, I really could not put my feet down to be a good daughter in law. No one in this world is perfect and so am I. This would be my second year missing reunion dinner with the in laws. It is not personal with my parents in law but I don’t want the 2 hours drama usually caused by the others affecting my 365 days. I don’t want my young kids to witness and pick up characters in the drama. As a mother of 3 girls, I want them to learn the importance of people (despite hierarchy/status) respecting them (respect is two ways). (I have actuaĺly gone through more than 10 years of reunion dinner with them even before marriage – nothing has changed and how many more 10 years I have)
I am happy enough that my hubby doesn’t force me to go through the ordeal. I will be staying home with my girls and he will attend alone. We will only visit PIL on CNY day 1. Actually my hubby even apologised that he can’t afford to bring us for a holiday during this CNY to avoid or getaway from the usual yearly routine which we talked about last year.
I take the ‘risk’ of one day my hubby leaving me because i can’t fulfill his duty of being filial. But having said that, there will be no regret as my marriage vows is to him and our offsprings – plus i have done what i ought to do.
I am not asking mummies here to follow what I do; but I certainly want to give HUGS to every mummy that need to go through the CNY eve and days reluctantly. Maybe….maybe…one day things will be different.
Happy Chinese New Year!