Sorry for losing affection

To my dear Noelle,
You have grown a lot! You are getting more ‘mature’ as you become a sister once again. Often, I have forgotten that you are still a little girl. 
I have to admit that I am less affectionate to you with Nikki and Norrah around (though we do a lot of activities together). I felt it so much about this (losing affection) when we broke down into an ‘argument’ the other day and we hugged each other at the end. And out of the whole scene, what you remember is ‘mama hug me’! 😔😔 
I feel so so bad from that moment onwards – how much affection we lost together (as I assumed papa has been giving you a lot)! Also, the article I read over the weekend – though for handling Mei Mei – reminded me how little ‘hug’ I have given you these few weeks/ months – especially times when you are having a ‘hard’ or ‘rough’ time! 
I promise to do better moving forward. At least this week, when both Mei Mei and mui mui napped separately, I hugged you to nap. When papa isn’t around at night, I allowed you on the bed with us. And just now, you wanted me to pat your butt with my only available palm (when I was hugging Mei Mei and mui mui on each side), your wish granted! 
I am sorry for being less affectionate the past few weeks/ months.