The spirit of giving/receiving

Mr Soo Ewe Jin was my top favourite editor during my writing days – though I never met him in person before. He had inspired me in that particular phase of life (more than 5 years)! He showed many positivism in life during his battles with big C (this is definitely in contrast with people who don’t appreciate their current livelihoods but hold grudges in daily lives).
As motherhood took place, I had less time to follow his columns. With a small mention of Mr Soo on fb one fine day, I was gifted an autographed book of his (sent to my door step) by a very thoughtful lady. 
End of last month, I actually took it out to read – I found many of my views on his views some how changed. And I did mentioned ‘boring’ at one point – but one big point that I learnt from his compilation of write ups in the book – ‘the spirit of giving/receiving’ which will be engraved in my mind forever – and this is what has been happening in my life in the past 1-2 years. People who know me well understand that I hate the feeling of being indebted – that is if possible, I would not ask help or would not even accept help (because I was brought up thinking ‘I need to do something in return for the help; I.e payback’)! Coincidentally, there are some ladies out there who came to me for no reason – offer me help/gift/etc 🙄🙄 and end up turning good friends. I seriously wonder what attracts them to me and always feel the ‘guilt’ as I have nothing (much) in return to ‘give back’! 😣 In one of his write up, Mr Soo mentioned that we shall just accept what is given to us (for example he just accepted it when a reader paid for his meal in the coffee shop) and we do not necessarily have to give something back in return in similar value (or anything) – so that it won’t jeopardize the spirit of giving! 😮😮😮 (disclaimer: this gives me a real comfort and less guilt of receiving; but it definitely won’t make me into someone who will just take and not give back 😅)
This is a long post and shall be in the memory of my facebook (and blog) – as I was told that Mr Soo has left us on Thursday😞😞 May his soul Rest In Peace.
His autographed book shall be kept in our home library; and passed on to Noelle and/or Nikki when the time comes!

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