I used to dread certain events in life, for example Chinese New Year and Mother’s Day when it should be happy occasions, as I had to spend some time (even it could be only two hours) with a bunch of people – who I dread to be with. I would think of negative thoughts about them (days/ weeks before the actual day) like what they will do and say – whereby 99% it turns out to be like what I thought of! So, I ended up being sad and even feeling of hatred!
For this Mother’s Day; I made up my mind NOT to spend my time with them without even telling my hubby. I was waiting to reject him when he tells me about the plan. I didn’t even put any expectation on the day (but just told myself it would be alright to just stay with the kids at home alone – at least I will have my two girls with me)!
I was rather surprised there WASN’T anything brought up to me (and I didn’t bother about whether hubby has made any contact to reject their invitation, if any)! I didn’t query him about it too! On the other hand, hubby asked what I would like to do and eat (though I could not deny that initially he might have a motive of wanting to celebrating it)!
At the end, I have one of the greatest Mother’s Day in these four years – though it was just like a normal weekend (that was my decision to spend like a normal weekend since Mother’s Day is sort of commercialized, for me). I should be grateful for each thing done by hubby – as I found out over some posts – many men only think that their mothers are only their mother and neglected the fact that their wives are actually mothering their children.
In fact, I would like to add that – after most marriages, daughter in laws, many a times, take over the role of a “mother” from their mother in laws to look after their hubbies (sons of mother in law) – which mean mother in laws should actually appreciate their daughter in laws than expecting the other way round (well, just saying)!
My point: it is important to have a positive mindset,even though I am just a stay at home mum! Though some may think this is selfish, it is more important to take care of my own welfare/ feelings so that I could take care of my home/kids/hubby better in coming days/months/ years without resentment! To a certain extent, I am no longer a people pleaser!
On the lighter note on how we “celebrated” yesterday:
Hubby: You want western food, jap…or what for Mother’s Day lunch?
Me: Bak Kut Teh!!!😂😂😂😂
So we settled for the nearest, less crowded and of course less tasty bak kut teh 🙄 – served fast and ate fast! Done in 30 minutes with very obedient Noelle but slight cranky Nikki!
Satisfied though no where near to Klang Bak Kut Teh!😝😝😝