Today marks our 30 months of breastfeeding journey. She still does requests for direct latches, but more for “comfort” as I am “running out” of milk at the moment due to hormonal changes.
No, it is not due to “menstrual” or because she is growing up and hence my milk is running out; but a pregnancy that caught us by surprise (so the myth of breastfeeding could prevent pregnancy is debunked plus however accurate our estimation, “accident” does happen). In fact, I guess our girl knew of this pregnancy the earliest as she started to become very clingy during the week when I missed my menstrual (other sign: my boobies became very sore especially when she latched).
It took me a while to “digest” this fact. PLUS I had (and still having, though it is improving) bad morning sickness since 6-7 weeks of the current pregnancy. I couldn’t eat and drink well – as I puked almost all that I ate and drank. It was THAT bad until I eventually lost my breastmilk supply (I think) by week 10. In the midst of this, being a stay-at-home-mum (SAHM) with no MCs, I still got to execute my duties of caring for the little girl – including her meal times, managing the active toddler (ensuring our commitment on home schooling during her toddler years) and housechores – where some days I just feel like “dying” off. In fact, I think I had the hardest time of being a SAHM in the past 1-2 months. But, I survived (and hope I will survive)….
The amazing thing about this girl who latches 2 hours consistently since birth is she has grown so much in these two months. She began to sleep through the night (sttn) from 28mo onwards (https://17chipmunks.wordpress.com/2015/05/05/28-mo-the-mark/). She also started to request less of nursing – longer hours (https://17chipmunks.wordpress.com/2015/06/08/little-17chipmunks-is-undergoing-natural-weaning-process/). And, I could now “negotiate” with her on how long the latches could be. I would say she is a truly understanding little girl who will let go when I say “enough”.
Note: Given that I could dictate the breastfeeding relationship (I let her comfort suck for a minute or so now), I didn’t really discuss further with my gynae on the possibility of breastfeeding this 2.5 yo. Moreover, when I first met him and I did mentioned to him that I am still breastfeeding, he responded by saying that “she (my girl) is able to go without being breastfed” (which is undeniably true – given that she does take her solid healthily).
My point is I never thought of having a second pregnancy this “early” because I am not sure how I would deal with a much attached little girl. However, when the time came/comes, the “crazy” thoughts of how she will survive “without” me for a day or two (when I am away for labour and hospital) are tapering off (though I still think about it at times – 101 of possibilities). From a little girl who clings on mama so much, she has turned more independent. My only worry was/is what if she falls sick. In the past, I used to nurse her, where she usually recovered in no time after marathon of nursing. But last week, when she caught mild fever due to the weather, she managed to recover in less than 24 hours – by me giving her coconut water and her large intake of fruits – I would definitely agree that the 2 years plus of breastfeeding has strengthen her self-immunity. For a record, she has gone without antibiotics for more than a year (ever since I turned a SAHM when she turned 13 mo).
Not many actually figured out that I am expecting as I kept mum about it (I wasn’t being superstitious, but as mentioned I was still digesting the fact and “suffering” from morning sickness) plus I don’t look preggie since I actually lost weigh in my first trimester (no one actually realise when I go out for playdates/playgroup with my girl; I am into my 15-16 week now). But, I would sincerely thank a few who get to know about my pregnancy as I actually seek their advice on gynae and handling two kids as a SAHM – namely EY Li and Kavitha Balachandran; thanks for assuring me that things would get through and I could be still “alive” despite going through a bad morning sickness with an active toddler plus sharing your breastfeeding journeys (with a toddler along) when your second one arrived. And also Quinnie Tan for helping me prepare a mindset on how things would run when number 2 arrives; offering help even before the time comes! Thanks also to Quinnie and Vanessa Lau for reassuring me that “siblinghood relationship” (which I lost faith in) does happen – and it really depends on how the parents bring them up. <Vanessa, Kyle’s love and brotherhood to Keith was really an eye opener to me! J>
Now that my 2.5 yo sttn and request shorter plus less frequent latches, I am better rested (especially at night, though I still wake up occasionally to check on her :P). Well, I think I shall “enjoy” this period before we welcome our next baby and begin our breastfeeding journey in this coming December. Given that I have successfully and fully breastfed my number 1 (until now), I am confident to do it again for my number 2! (Thanks to her too – she debunked many myths of raising babies who are breastfed.)
I seriously hope I won’t run into tears and frustration again when time comes especially I am opting to do my confinement alone again plus with a pre-school-er around, then (to save the stress of being nagged, following superstitious beliefs and ensuring a smooth breastfeeding jouney). I don’t put much hope on tandem nursing as the big sister will turn 3 by then – but it truly depends on her wants and needs at that point of time; for now I shall enjoy the fullest with my little girl before multiplying love (I am still figuring out how!).
P/S: And, nope we are not sending her to play school anytime soon – as we don’t want her to feel that we are “sending her away” when her little sibling is arriving/ arrived.